Dear Dr. Archer,
I had been married before and it was a very abusive marriage. I divorced him, and did not want to be bothered with another man for a long time because of the way my first husband mistreated me.
It was to the point I did not want to hear or see anything about any man. My heart was so hardened by the way I was treated in my previous marriage, I did not date; my time consisted of church, work, home and spending time with family -- for seven years.
Eight years after my divorce, my heart was healing and I began to feel lonely. One Sunday night after coming from church, I looked up at the ceiling and said "Lord, I am tired of looking at the four walls every night, and I am lonely. Please send me my husband."
I made my request specific and plain to God. I continued: "Lord, whoever is to be my husband, please don't let us date more than 3 months, let him know I am his wife and do not let his conversations be wrong because that would be a turn off for me."
Two days later, I was sitting at the table and a soft voice told me to check my email. Please keep in mind that I had not been on the Internet for about two years! There was a message from Bill which said, "Step into my world," along with a phone number. I laughed, almost unstoppably, and I called the number. This is how it began.
To make a long story short, we talked on the phone for a month before seeing each other, and somehow we just knew we were made for each other. In fact, our second telephone conversation was when Bill said we were going to marry. He wanted me to be his wife --for life.
In the second month of our conversing over the Internet, he visited my family and me. Everything was perfect, except, when I met him, he was wearing worn out jeans with holes everywhere and flip flops! I said "NO! You have to change before meeting the family!"
Oh, what a laugh!! Later on that month, I met his family, and everything went well. His mother, ever so sweetly, gave our marriage her blessing, and then her warning, which I did not understand fully at the time.
During the third month of our courtship, he asked me to marry him and we got married! He never knew what I asked God until after the fact. His mother gave us her blessing, and afterwards she said "Just pray, honey." I did not know what she meant until now. Guess what? I have been praying every since then! Lol.
Bill has been such a blessing in my life, and I am thankful that I was chosen for this life's journey to be with him -- the love of my life. But many others call on him, too, because of past performances in so many things.
My life is empty without Bill. My children and family -- my father -- show him every respect, even the school children before he retired from substitute teaching.
Thank you so much for such an uplifting letter! Perhaps without realizing it, you have given countless people psychological hope that they, too, can find true love.
You were in an abusive marriage and you were able to get out -- and thrive. Many women, (and men, too!), feel trapped and experience so much fear and anxiety about leaving, that they remain. They can get out; they just don’t think they are strong enough.
Also, importantly, you gave yourself time after your divorce to pull yourself together and recover. Family and friends are the best support system, and work can be therapeutic.
Also, FAITH goes a long, long way, as I discuss in "The Power Of Hope"
. You were so specific in your quest, that I doubt Bill had a chance! He said you were going to marry during your second conversation? Not that's divine intervention!
I'm certain Bill is a blessing in your life, as you are in his. I know your lives are still very busy, but I can tell you both put each other first, before all else.
Your letter is the first on my site, Renae, to show that people can meet on the Internet and not only make it work, but make it fabulous. You are a great example to others. Thank you for such a wonderful, uplifting letter. All the best to both you and Bill!