Dear Dr. Archer,
I have an evil, abusive mother. I hate her and I hope she dies. She has given me nothing but pain in life, and I want to spend the rest of my life in peace, happiness and success.
Now that I’m on my own, how can I move on in life and leave her behind? I fear she will poison my mind forever if I do not.
Alpana
Dear Alpana,
You didn't give me anything to go on as to why you dislike your mother so much, so I don't know if your she is truly inflicting harm on you or if you are just not getting your way.
For now, Alpana, you need to get a grip and get control of yourself. Wishing your mother would die will not solve anything except to give you anxiety.
The best thing you can learn is that you cannot control how anyone acts -- not your friends, not your enemies, not your mother. You only have control of you and your thoughts.
Your mother has nothing to do with your happiness going forward. You can use her as an excuse every time you don’t get what you want or feel sad OR you can take charge of your life and decide that you will make your own happiness no matter where you came from.
In the end, Alpana, it’s your choice. You're an adult; you've moved out for your own peace of mind, happiness and success. It's up to you to talk to your mom and tell her how you feel as to how she treats you or what she says or does.
Whatever it is that gets to you so badly, you need to let her know. Hopefully she will be receptive, but if she refuses to honor your wishes, then you have the right to avoid her as much as necessary or even completely. Good luck.
Dr. Archer
