Dear Dr. Archer,
I’m a girl and I was in a relationship with a girl. The problem was that I did not have any feelings for her, but I couldn't end the relationship. Finally, after a while, I confessed I just did not care for her and she left.
Sooooo, I decided to alter the way I felt about her by constantly thinking positive thoughts about her. I had given rise to all the necessary feelings and attributes of a love stricken person who wanted her beloved to come back. All my thought processes were directed towards reviving this relationship, though my heart said, "no, no, no!”.
I considered my actions and thinking to be normal, and expected my heart to change at some point in time. I knew I was disturbing myself, because thoughts raced through my mind and my head ached massively, but I could not control it.
One day I found my mind totally detached from my sentiments. I went to a psychiatrist, who prescribed antidepressants and sleeping pills. I've been taking them for a year and a half, and though the severity has lessened, I'm not cured. But, I have developed a clearer picture of things.
Now I suffer from uncontrolled obsessive thoughts. It's like a surge of some external energy is choking my throat, pressing on my chest, hitting my head and my rational side is giving way to all types of obsessive thoughts. They continue to play in the back of my mind like a radio in an uncontrolled manner.
In a relaxed state, I'm not troubled. However, any form of mental excitement triggers the energy, and I slowly find myself getting lost. What is this medical condition called? Will I be fully cured? I've been taking meds for the past year and a half. Thank you, if you reply.
First of all, this girl you are fixated on is NOT the problem here. You are fixated on her, but this is a symptom of an underlying problem and has nothing to do with her. This is about you.
A healthy mind copes with changes, choices, traumas and losses that are a normal part of life. When mentally healthy you learn to accept, understand and cope with life's challenges, and make the most of your circumstances and then move on, learning from the process.
Mental illnesses are complex, Shaon. You may have depression, you might be suffering from anxiety, or OCD or perhaps even bipolar disorder. Any of these can be a major obstacle in achieving a healthy frame of mind, and can cause obsessive thoughts. The only way to firmly determine your diagnosis, however, is to have a one-on-one with a psychiatrist.
If you have not told your doctor everything you've told me, then I suggest you do so now. If you're not happy with the results, or if you feel something else is going on, then by all means get a second or even third opinion.
You want a doctor you like and trust, who you can work closely with. Good luck.