Dear Dr. Archer,
I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and addiction. I have been a habitual relapser since my introduction to NA and AA, about 30 years ago.
It seems to me that not using drugs will not help my borderline personality, but of course using will not help, either. I've been in therapy for 50 years and have seen 45 therapists. I can only assume that in my comfort zone of feeling rotten I do not want to change. However, I keep going to therapy sessions for help, so there's a tiny window of hope that springs from this.
I've been hospitalized two times in my life for emotional disorders. Any feedback at all would help. Thank you so very much.
Never, ever, ever lose that little window of hope, no matter how small it may be, for as long as you have breath in your body, anything is possible. Read my blog, The Power of Hope. I see you in there, Lisa. Do you see yourself? You are a survivor, I know it, that’s why you keep going to therapy and that is why you have written me.
You've fallen a few times, yes, but what's more important than that is that you've gotten up and continued your journey. Feeling rotten may be your comfort zone, so I challenge you to start spending 15 minutes a day thinking happy, positive thoughts. Do this for a month. The next month, spend 30; then 45. Attitude goes a long way, Lisa, and with the right attitude you can change your comfort zone.
Look at Lance Armstrong -- diagnosed with cancer that had spread throughout his body, he could have given up hope, and who would have blamed him? Having cancer pockets in his lungs and brain that were the size of golf balls, he was not looking at a bright future. Yet, despite all odds, he overcame cancer, winning the Tour de France seven years in a row. Talk about perseverance!
As Walter Elliott said, "Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." Take each day one at a time and make the most of each one. I sincerely wish you well.