Dr. Archer,
I'm a 38 year old female, and I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. It has caused me a great deal of pain and drama in my life. I have tried medications, therapy and inpatient treatment. They all seem to help for a while, but are never long lasting.
I have lost a great many people that I love because of things I do when I'm symptomatic. I lost my husband and custody of my two oldest children. Now I'm separated from my new baby's father. He says I'm two different people and won't come back to me unless the real me comes back.
I have written Dr. Phil several times with no answer. I really want to get better so I don't completely lose another family. Dr. Archer, please help me. I need psychological treatment that will cure me. Thank you!
Andrea
Dear Andrea,
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is typically treated by long term psychotherapy, preferably with a single therapist over several years. Many medications have been tried for this condition, with varying degrees of success. The key with meds is to use them to target symptoms in each individual, not for the disorder as a whole.
BPD is an extensive pattern of instability in relationships, emotions and view of self. Symptoms include impulsive behavior, such as intense spending, unprotected sex with multiple partners, substance abuse, binge eating and gambling.
The fear of being abandoned is present, whether it's real or imagined. This can cause frantic behavior, and the rejecting of another first because of their intense fear of being rejected. Intense irritability, anxiety and frequent displays of anger are common. Suicidal thoughts and threats of suicide frequently emerge. To be diagnosed as BPD, these symptoms must last long enough to cause havoc with work, family and friends.
The problem with treatment is that borderline patients see the world as black or white, no shades of grey. Thus they start off thinking their therapist is the greatest but as soon as he tells them something they don’t like, they flip the switch and he becomes despised. You have to realize that and work through it WITH the same therapist to have any chance of getting better
I'm not sure why you are writing to Dr. Phil for help. Do you want to be on TV or get your condition treated? You said yourself that short term treatment hasn’t helped, so I don’t think appearing on a TV show is the answer.
Once you get actively involved in treatment, invite your husband to a session so he can hear firsthand about BPD from a professional. I sincerely wish you luck.
Dr. Archer
