Dear Dr. Archer,
I don't know how to tell you my story; it's all about insisting on loving and helping people, believing in the goodness of life and human beings, believing in happiness with a pure heart, being positive, full of energy, faith -- only to be hurt and being made to look foolish over and over.
As time goes by I'm getting older, the psychological scars are getting deeper and while everyone seems to learn and become wiser, I'm only becoming more confused.
I cannot change. I cannot stop from being what I naturally am, but it's only brought me deception and frustration. OMG, I would have to write a book just to tell you my story!
Please don't change. You sound great just the way you are! If you try to be something you're not, you will only bring more heartache upon yourself. If you're true to yourself, you will never go wrong in this life.
You only have control over yourself, Yara. To be loving, helpful and sincere; well this all comes from within. Just because other folks don't, can't or won't act the way you do, does not mean you need to change or conform to their ways.
We should all strive to be honest and sincere with each other, but sadly that's just not reality. We all come from different backgrounds and it is up to you to pick and choose your friends wisely.
I'd like you to read a letter similar to yours, "Marcia Is Sick Of Two-Faced People"
. Marcia has the same idea as you; it's worded a little differently, but the concept is the same. Keeping your word is one of the mot important attributes there is.
You should also read "Why Does Everyone Take Advantage Of Me?"
Use discretion when making friends; the more experience you gain the more you'll realize who you can trust and who you can’t. It's called living and learning.
Eventually you will get to a point where you can tell upfront the good guys from the bad guys and then you can choose to only associate with similarly spirited individuals. At that point you will be so glad you stayed true to yourself.
Keep on being your loving, caring self, Yara -- you really are not alone. Humility and a good sense of self is what will make you happy and successful. Being something you're not is what will truly make you look foolish, and will bring you unhappiness.
If someone gets satisfaction out of making you look foolish, then you don’t want that person in your life anyway. Best of luck to you!