Dear Dr. Archer,
I have issues regarding self confidence. I think I lack self confidence, and am lacking it more and more with the passage of time. I used to feel so self assured, but every day I seem to lose it.
Please help me. What do I have to do?
Nazia
Dear Nazia,
"Success breeds confidence; failure breeds doubt." Self confidence is the belief in yourself and your ability to achieve a desired outcome.
Doubt and the fear of failure, can cause many, many to never reach their full potential. It's a self defeating attitude. However, some of the best lessons learned by successful people are through mistakes they've made. They're lessons learned, and the art of learning and avoiding those mistakes again help you grow.
You can build your self confidence by accomplishing things that will teach you things and hone your skills. Pick something you have an interest in doing; make it something small, that will be a little challenging, perhaps something at work, a hobby or skill.
You could even get a pet and decide to be the best pet owner in the world. Learn as you go, ask questions, read and put a lot of effort into it. Do not worry about failing. Embrace the challenge!
If you make mistakes along the way, consider it a good thing because you're learning. Most importantly keep going!
If you can do one thing well, that you’ve learned over time, then you can carry this over to other endeavors. It’s important to have that success, so you know you can succeed when you put your mind to it.
It's all in your attitude. As Don King said, "Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up."
You, Nazia, are just as capable as anyone else. We all make mistakes, but appreciate those moments for what they are -- teaching moments. Believe it, live it and reach your full potential. Good luck!
Dr. Archer
